Stage 4 Cancer & Sobriety:

How to Live at a 10/10 Volume & Chase Your Travel Bucket List

“I don't know how much time I have left. What I have is terminal, and I don't know when this medicine I'm on stops working.”

Be honest: If those words belonged to you, and you were an alcoholic, would you drink? If you were carrying the weight of a terminal Stage 4 cancer diagnosis after already fighting through two previous rounds of cancer over a brutal decade, would you look at that prognosis and decide you finally had the ultimate excuse to numb out, escape, and slide back into oblivion? No one would blame you if you did. For many, a devastating medical crisis triggers an immediate instinct to pull the covers over their head and run back to a familiar vice.

But Mary Beth operates on a completely different frequency. With 18 years of continuous sobriety under her belt, her response to a terminal diagnosis isn't a somber retreat from reality or a relapse into a bottle. It is radical, relentless movement. Instead of using her diagnosis as a permission slip to escape her reality, Mary Beth has spent nearly two decades building a life so vibrant, grounded, and full of clear-eyed purpose that she doesn’t need to escape from it—except, of course, to pack a suitcase and see the world. Guided by her personal survival rule—“If I don't GO, I will die”—she treats a packed calendar of road trips, bucket-list adventures, and loud rock concerts as her literal engine for staying alive and staying sober .

Welcome to Wander Woman Feature #9, an ongoing series celebrating women who redefine what it means to travel with a light heart, no matter how heavy their circumstances. This isn’t a tragic story about terminal illness, and it certainly isn't a sugarcoated lecture on toxic positivity. Mary Beth is a gritty, fiercely independent, and frugal wanderer who looked an expiration date in the face and chose a life of total presence over a relapse into a dark past. This is her masterclass on how to keep your spirit entirely weightless when your physical body is carrying something impossibly heavy.

Choosing Sobriety Through Stage 4 Cancer: One Woman’s Story of Traveling in Recovery

To understand how Mary Beth operates at this frequency today, you have to look at the long medical storm that tried—and failed—to break her sobriety. In recovery circles, they often say "service saves." For her, that phrase became terrifyingly literal.

Back in 2014, she was known in her local fellowship as “Zep MB”—a nod to her status as an old-school, hardcore Led Zeppelin fan who lived for loud summer tribute concerts . That summer, she was driving two "new girls" from the Jean Marie House recovery center to a meeting while complaining about a sharp chest pain from a bad cold. The girls staged an immediate vehicle mini-intervention, refusing to exit her car until she promised to go to urgent care. Because sobriety means keeping your promises, she went.

That stubborn demand led to an accidental, life-saving discovery: Stage 1 lung cancer. When her pulmonologist marveled at her "luck," Mary Beth corrected him on the spot: “Oh, I’m not lucky. I’m blessed.” Because she was present and accountable, they caught a silent killer in time.

She had half a lung removed, finished chemo, and hit five years of remission before her next war in 2019: Stage 3 breast cancer. She underwent a left mastectomy, radiation, and chemotherapy during the terrifying peak of COVID-19—completely isolated from her physical recovery community. Yet, turning back to the bottle never crossed her mind.

But every warrior has a breaking point, and Mary Beth’s hit the fan in September of 2022 when the cancer metastasized to her bones; she was automatically Stage 4. There was no serene acceptance this time. She was furious. She watched other women get fifteen cancer-free years while she was granted a lousy two.

“I swear, if one more person told me what a powerful example I am, I was going to punch them,” she confesses with her signature humor. “I was sick of being a good example and felt God was just punishing me.” It was a profound crisis of faith. But instead of using her anger as a trapdoor back into a bottle, she took it straight to her sponsor and support rooms. She anchored herself to an old truth her first sponsor, Vicki, drilled into her: “There are a thousand excuses to drink, but not one single good reason.” Reflecting on how she survived that terrifying shift in perspective, she shares: “Coming into the program, I had no idea there was a solution to my problem that would allow me to be Sober and Not be Pissed off about it. How 1 minute, 1 hour, 1 Day at a time has become 18 years, is still unimaginable to me.” She chose to control her clarity when she couldn't control her cells. Even at a Stage 4 volume, a drink would solve absolutely nothing.

Healing Family Relationships in Long-Term Alcohol Recovery

For years, Mary Beth lived under a classic alcoholic delusion: the belief that her drinking was a solo crime. “I thought it was never about hurting anyone but myself,” she reflects. But the ultimate proof of addiction’s collateral damage sits in a piece of paper that has become a staple of her recovery toolkit: an intervention letter written by her daughter, Lauren, at just fifteen years old.

The letter was a raw, heartbreaking portrait of a family fractured by the fear, disappointment, and disgust of a mother’s drinking. Lauren even captured the absurdity of their reality, recalling a trip to Niagara Falls where she threatened to blow the whistle to customs border patrol because her mother and aunt had overpacked the car trunk with duty-free alcohol.

With Lauren’s permission, Mary Beth reads that gut-wrenching letter at the beginning of every recovery lead she shares. “Lauren clearly stated the pain the family was going through... She told me, ‘If it will help one person realize what they are doing to their family and get the help they need, then you go right ahead.’ I’ve been doing it ever since and have seen even grown men wiping away a tear or two.”

But the beauty of Mary Beth's story is that the letter is no longer the final word. It stands in sharp, miraculous contrast to a beautiful birthday card Lauren handed her just three years into sobriety, overflowing with restored love and pride. Beyond the restored bonds with her children is the clean slate she was able to hand to the next generation: because of her 18 years of continuous clarity, her grandkids have only ever known a present, active, and completely sober grandmother.  Same for Mooch & Gus her grand-pups!

The ultimate payoff of a restored legacy came back in 2017 when her son was given Notre Dame tickets. Instead of keeping his distance from a chaotic past, he picked up the phone and called his mom first to see if she would go on a sports road trip to a Notre Dame football game with him.“I said absolutely, how many friends did you call before you got to me(sure sounded like a guys road trip to me, lol) He said , “none you were the first person I thought of, why wouldn’t I ask you first?” Now that was Special, that brought tears to my eyes, he had those tickets and he called his Mom first”. Doesn’t happen if I’m not sober. Fast forward to today, and this year was his 40th birthday so knowing he’s a baseball nut like me, I took him to Cooperstown to see the HOF.”

The Power of Community Service and Sober Travel Retreats

In traditional recovery circles, there is a common saying: “If you don’t grow, you’ll go.” But Mary Beth’s personal timeline demanded a much more aggressive truth. “My version is: if I don't GO, I will die,” she explains. “Staying active is huge for me. I feel better physically, spiritually, and mentally.” For her, service & action isn't a leisure choice; it’s the spiritual armor that keeps her disease at bay. “Helping others is a gift…It is the basic principle to staying sober and the relationships built are such a joy.”

Part of that armor means staying deeply rooted in service. Whether she is helping the "new girls" finding their footing at the Jean Marie House or fundraising for Cleveland’s Race for the Place, getting out of her own head is non-negotiable. But she also found an entirely separate level of healing by intentionally stepping into dedicated recovery spaces—namely, sober retreats like Cooks and Atwood. At just five years sober, she agreed to a "secret retreat" where attendees were given zero details in advance. “I literally packed my bags, hopped in a car with strangers, knowing zero details, and completely trusted the process,” she laughs. It was a pivotal moment of letting go, realizing that when you surround yourself with the right community, you don’t need to control every single detail of the map to have a safe, profound experience.

That trust transformed into a deep love for the road, leading her to capture beautiful memories everywhere from the vibrant tulip fields of Holland, Michigan, to peaceful lakeside getaways. Even on these closer regional trips, she has established her own beloved, unshakeable travel rituals that honor the simple joy of being present. “My absolute mandatory road-trip pit stop is Grandpa’s Cheese Barn,” she says. “You can’t pass through without stopping there—it’s just part of the adventure.”

The Frugal Travel Budget Playbook: Checking Off a Bucket List

Mary Beth’s hunger for the open road stems from a childhood of scarcity. “I grew up in a household with a single mom who had to raise four young children… after my dad passed,” she says. “Money was a little tight.” Travel simply wasn't on the radar. Later, when she had her own family, the obstacle wasn't lack of opportunity—it was her addiction. “When my kids were growing up, I was too busy drinking and smoking my money away, barely functioning at all,” she admits. “So now I'm just trying to get to see some of my bucket-list items. There are so many places and so little time, but if it is meant to be, it will happen.”

Reclaiming those lost years meant choosing financial discipline over her old habits. By routing her old "drinking and smoking money" directly into travel funds, Mary Beth transformed herself into a remarkably savvy, frugal explorer. Her strategy for stretching a dollar is simple but effective: book reputable, brand-name hotels with 24-hour desks and free breakfast, and stay just outside a major city center to unlock massive savings. When she took her son on a 40th birthday road trip to the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown, New York, staying just outside the main strip kept the adventure affordable, leaving more cash in the budget to keep them moving toward the next horizon.

But budgeting wasn't her only obstacle; she also had to face down a paralyzing, decades-old trauma. In 1990, Mary Beth survived a terrifying flight where the plane hit severe turbulence and the oxygen masks dropped from the ceiling—an experience that left her with a massive fear of flying. For years, she stayed grounded. But her new philosophy left no room for lingering fears. Stepping out in faith, she recently conquered that history by booking a flight to Arizona to see the Grand Canyon with her daughter, proving that even a 30-year-old phobia couldn't stand in the way of her freedom.

Today, she refuses to let her terminal diagnosis slow down her planning. She is currently preparing for an upcoming autumn coach tour through New England’s fall foliage with her cousin Judy, and she already has her sights set on her ultimate dream: coordinating a massive cruise and land tour through the rugged landscapes of Alaska.

A Safe Landing

Today, Mary Beth’s travel plans aren't just an itinerary; they are an active celebration of survival, freedom, and adventure. She is the first to tell you that she doesn’t know what tomorrow looks like. “I don't know how much time I have left,” she says bluntly. “What I have is terminal, and I don't know when this medicine I'm on stops working and they move on to something else. But for now, everything is stable, and for that, I am extremely grateful!”

For anyone sitting on the sidelines of their own life, letting fear, illness, or a dark past hold them hostage, Mary Beth’s advice is straightforward and action-oriented: stop waiting for the perfect moment. “If you think you may want to take a trip somewhere, no matter what or where it may be, start gathering information, resources, and networking now,” she urges. “Doing the research now just gets you closer to realizing the dream sooner, if it's in the forefront of your mind. I wasted way too much time thinking, but never taking the action to make it a reality.”

Zep MB’s journey is living, breathing proof of what happens when you choose to stay present through life's heaviest storms. Looking back at the beginning of her recovery, she marvels at how a dark path transformed into total freedom—recalling her early days as a time of “doubt, fear, and uncertainty suddenly changing to Willingness (lots of Willingness) Acceptance and Hope to do something different with my life.” Before finding recovery, she relied on a dangerous crutch. “Alcohol was my solution for everything—Feelings, Fears and Failings in my life, my 3 Fs of life’s report card if you will,” she explains. “Coming into the program, I had no idea there was a solution to my problem that would allow me to be Sober and Not be Pissed off about it. How 1 minute, 1 hour, 1 Day at a time has become 18 years, is still unimaginable to me.”

As she continues to look toward the horizon, packing her bags for the next grand adventure, she remains anchored to a beautiful, golden rule passed down by her very first sponsor, Vicki, nearly two decades ago—a truth that serves as the ultimate compass for her weightless spirit: “With God, anything is possible. Attitude matters... and prayer works! One thing I heard very early in sobriety was that God doesn't promise us a smooth journey, just a SAFE Landing”

If Mary Beth’s journey touched your heart, consider honoring her legacy of service by supporting the organizations that helped shape her recovery and mission. Donations can be made to the Jean Marie House to support women finding their footing in early sobriety, or The Gathering Place (home of Cleveland's Race for the Place), which provides free programmatic support to individuals and families coping with a cancer diagnosis.  

Ready to start checking off your travel bucket list?

You don't have to wait for the perfect moment or a medical milestone to start exploring. Whether you are navigating recovery, managing a heavy transition, or simply learning to travel with a lighter heart, the best time to start gathering information, resources, and community is right now. Let’s get closer to realizing your dreams sooner—because your spirit belongs out in the world, entirely weightless.

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