God Doing for Us: Knocked on my ass by Grace

Wander Woman Feature #8 - A chat with Cathie Rose

The first time I really saw Cathie Rose, I was falling backwards off a step.

She didn't hesitate—she instinctively caught me. I was mortified, but instead of letting me sit in that awkward embarrassment, Cathie dissolved it instantly. She was entirely focused on making sure I was okay, wrapping me in a kindness so attentive it brought my guard down completely. She has this incredible gift of being naturally funny and completely disarming. She genuinely makes anyone she interacts with feel like they are the most important person in the room, turning an acquaintance into a fast friend just by making them feel seen, valued, and safe.

Looking back, there was a beautiful, ironic foreshadowing in that moment. Because not too long before Cathie was catching me on a staircase, she had to learn a brutal, beautiful lesson about what happens when life completely knocks you off your feet—and how a higher power steps in to catch you when you least expect it.

Surrendering to the Process: Finding Grace in Early Recovery

Before she was helping others find their footing, around a year sober, Cathie found herself completely losing her own. Her father had been diagnosed with terminal cancer, and she was terrified.

"I didn't want to watch him die, I didn't want to see him undignified," Cathie shares honestly. "I didn't want to get closer with him only to lose him."

Sprinting from the reality of the diagnosis, she began using her recovery meetings as a shield to hide behind. But sometimes, the program has a way of teaching us that we can't run from life—and God has a way of doing for us what we are completely unwilling to do for ourselves.

For Cathie, that forced slowdown arrived on a patch of winter ice.

"God knocked me on my ass," she says bluntly. She slipped, broke her leg, and her plans of running away were instantly shattered. Unable to escape to a meeting, she was placed exactly where she belonged: right at her father's bedside.

What she thought would be a nightmare turned out to be an entirely different reality. "That time with my father was like its own universe," Cathie reflects. "How present me and my family were during that time, I wish I could bottle it up! We were so locked in, so connected, and so purely in love with each other."

In that tiny bedroom, the family stopped fighting the inevitable. They surrendered to the end, accepted it through God, and quite literally all got into bed together to make the absolute best of the time they had left. A broken bone was a brutal way to learn surrender, but looking back, Cathie views it clearly: "This was the greatest gift I have received from my God."

Navigating the Early Days of Sobriety: The Power of Community Support

To understand the strength it took to stand by that bedside, you have to look back at where Cathie's footing was first established. Every story of profound recovery has a definitive starting line, and for Cathie, that line was drawn right on the first day of the year.

"13 years, 5 months, 23 days," she says, counting the milestones with ease. "It's easy to calculate because my anniversary is January 1st!"

But back in the absolute beginning, the view wasn't quite so clear. Those early days were incredibly tough, requiring a fierce, radical narrowing of focus. To survive, Cathie had to put the blinders on and strip her life down to one single, non-negotiable priority: protecting her sobriety at all absolute costs. Everything else simply had to wait.

"I tried to not worry about anything but my sobriety," Cathie recalls. "A job? Doesn't matter. Fixing my life? It'll come. Sobriety was the only thing I focused on. My sponsor told me everything else would just fall into place."

She dug in, but she didn't have to walk that narrow, difficult path completely alone. Right beside her was a built-in lifeline, a cousin who was far more than just family. "CJ (Carl) is my literal hero," Cathie says. "He has always been my best friend. He is my soul twin."

Born just five weeks apart, Cathie and CJ have always walked the exact same path, sharing both the bad chapters and the good. When she stepped into recovery, he was right there to bridge the gap into a sober life. Having her soul twin standing shoulder-to-shoulder with her changed the entire landscape of her recovery.

"To have him at every family event, every wedding, every party... it makes being sober so much easier," Cathie shares. "Also, to have him at every '12 step' event, every anniversary, retreat, lead. That also makes sobriety so much easier. He saved my life and I am eternally grateful for him."

With her blinders on and her lifeline locked in, Cathie was building the foundation that would eventually allow her to face life's heaviest moments with wide-open eyes.

The Gift of Tough Love

While a soul twin provided comfort on the journey, Cathie’s foundation was truly forged under the guidance of her first sponsor, Penny—a legendary oldtimer in the Cleveland AA community. Penny wasn’t one for hand-holding, and she certainly didn't mince words. "Penny is a tough cookie," Cathie shares, "but in her core she is the sweetest, softest, most tender hearted woman."

The depth of that hidden sweetness became undeniably clear during that same painful season at her father’s bedside. While Cathie was adjusting to her sudden, forced slowdown, Penny was quietly working behind the scenes. Though she had never even met Cathie's father, she took it upon herself to deliver a gesture of pure grace. Without saying a word to Cathie, she simply showed up at his front door carrying a honey baked ham.

She sat down with him and gave him the one thing a parent of an addict craves most: peace of mind. She told him how wonderfully Cathie was doing and how beautifully she took direction. "My addiction had been such a hard part of his life, and he was so happy to hear from someone else that I was okay," Cathie recalls. "He asked her, 'Penny, is Cathie going to stay sober?'"

Penny looked him in the eye and gave him a promise. Later, she told Cathie, "Cathie, I don't know why the hell I said this, but I said yes, so now you have to stay sober." To this day, whenever Cathie starts "acting like a dummy," Penny is right there to remind her: "Don't make a liar out of me to your father!" She continues, "Penny never coddled me or drove me anywhere," Cathie says. "She never gave me cigarettes. She gave me the 12 steps, and she gave my dad his dying wish. I think that was plenty. And it was all I ever needed."

That fierce boundary style wasn’t just reserved for bedroom promises; it was a daily teaching tool. Cathie fondly laughs about a legendary memory from a brutal Cleveland winter storm. She was trudging through the blinding snow on foot, trying to get to a meeting, when Penny’s car appeared. Instead of pulling over to offer a warm ride, Penny simply drove right past her, tapped the horn, and flashed a massive smile as she waved out the window.

It wasn't cruelty; it was a masterclass in personal responsibility. Much like Mara’s mom handing her that unforgettable bus pass in our last feature, Penny was showing Cathie that while the community will give you the tools, you still have to show up and do the footwork yourself.

"What did that teach me? Well, a.) that this lady isn't my personal cab service and b.) that this sobriety I have is earned," Cathie says. "And it's earned by me, not the group. The group helps. But I have to get myself to the meetings... No one is going to do this for me." Through hams and honking horns, Cathie learned that while the program layout gives you the steps, you have to earn the miles yourself.

Growing Up and Giving Back

Building a fierce foundation under Penny’s guidance gave Cathie the spiritual footing she needed to begin stepping blindly into the unknown. When you learn to trust that a higher power has you, you start taking leaps of faith you never would have attempted before. For both of us, one of those defining leaps led us to a very special retreat—the kind of experience where you are told absolutely nothing in advance, not where you are going, not what you are doing, nothing. You have to blindly trust the person who invited you.

Looking back and reflecting on the retreat process, it was a sacred, chaotic staging ground where a bunch of naturally selfish alcoholics learned what it actually means to show up for other people. It was an intense, beautiful level of service that required us to pull our entire hearts out of ourselves, put them on the table, and learn how to truly work as a team. "I was forced to confront things and overcome fears and become a real person," Cathie reflects on that era of deep growth.

That dedication to vulnerability didn't just solidify our own recoveries; it brought life-changing connections into focus. It was through that exact leap of faith and trust in the program that Cathie met her best friend, Bree. Before recovery, finding genuine, safe, and loving connections with other women felt entirely out of reach. "I learned how to love women," Cathie says openly. "I didn't know how to do that before."

Stepping into that space changed her entire trajectory. Today, Cathie and Bree have been navigating the beautiful, unpredictable waters of sobriety side-by-side for twelve years. Together, they completely shattered the old, lingering misconception that a life without alcohol would somehow be boring, small, or low-achieving. Instead, they proved that alcoholics are some of the most resourceful, hard-working people alive —and they built lives that are vibrant, expansive, and filled with deep, earned success.

Cathie also began to re-evaluate the traits she used to think were flaws. For years, she had a natural "gift of gab," but in her active addiction, that talent had been twisted. "I feel like my whole life I used my 'gift of gab' to be selfish and get things and manipulate people," she admits honestly. "I always felt like it was this thing that was wrong with me." When she got sober, the fog cleared, and she realized that her quick wit and conversational nature were actually massive assets when channeled into a good life.

"I noticed new girls become very comfortable around me very quickly," Cathie says. "I noticed I could make the saddest person in the room smile if I tried hard enough—and that healed and still heals that little Cathie Rose inside of me that was always in time-out, always in trouble. It's my superpower now. It's an asset!"

Today, she doesn't use her words to manipulate; she uses them to heal. Whether she is breaking the ice for a terrified newcomer in a meeting room , or easing the mortification of a friend falling backwards off a staircase, Cathie's superpower is making sure nobody ever has to feel alone.

Clear Eyes, Big World: Non-Negotiable Tools for Sober Travel

When the fog clears, your world expands. For Cathie, that newfound freedom culminated in a dream trip to Europe alongside Bree and close friends—a reality that would have been financially, emotionally, and logistically impossible in active addiction.

"Honestly—I can't imagine what it would have been like if I WAS drinking," Cathie says. "Like, how badly I would have ruined it. Would I be able to afford it? No. Would I have a passport? Also, no."

To navigate the globe without an "escape hatch" drink, Cathie relies on fierce personal boundaries to keep her recovery grounded. For her, true freedom on the road is the absolute right to protect her peace and leave an event early without explaining herself.

"There's nothing wrong with making a quick 'pop-in' at an event where everyone is drinking and then retiring to your room to watch trash reality tv," she shares. "Also, going to meetings in other cities is always so fun and interesting!"

Learning to honor those personal boundaries completely transformed her family’s travel dynamic. Years ago, trips were easily derailed by the stress and friction of active addiction. Today, as the "Halko Party of 3" alongside her husband and her beautiful boy, Anthony, vacations are built entirely on presence, patience, and pure joy.

"We used to look for shopping and fancy restaurants, now we look for splash pads and restaurants we won't get kicked out of lol!" Cathie laughs. "Honestly, me and my husband used to bicker a lot when we traveled. Now—it's all about this little boy having the best time. Turns out when that is at stake, we can control our character defects!"

For the women sitting on the sidelines of their own lives—the "neurotic wanderers" who want to take their first big international trip but are letting fear hold them back—Cathie offers a powerful roadmap for handling that uncertainty.

"Fear is real. And uncertainty is warranted. But what I always ask myself: what am I afraid of? Am I afraid I won’t have fun? Am I afraid of the actual logistics of traveling? Am I afraid of the language barrier? And I do research on the specific things I am afraid of. Knowledge is power. So if you’re afraid of the language barrier and research “do a lot of people speak English in Tokyo” and find out, Yes, most of Tokyo speaks English- well you’re gonna not be afraid of that anymore?! Right? If you find out- “no one speaks English in Tokyo” maybe research “cities in Asia with a lot of English speakers” and start there. Get to Tokyo later. Knowing yourself and really categorizing what you’re afraid of is reaaaaally helpful to neurotic psychos like me. :)"

Happiness is the Message

Today, Cathie isn't just navigating a thriving recovery and a joyful family life; she is also an entrepreneur running her own business. It’s a space where the core tenets of her recovery are tested and applied every single day.

"Honesty is the most important principal to carry over," Cathie states firmly. "If you're not being honest in your business, those bad ethics will spill over into your program."

For anyone looking from the outside, it’s easy to look at her professional success and think she has it all figured out. But for Cathie, the true measure of how far she has come has nothing to do with a balance sheet or a business title.

"I never speak about my professional success when I speak at meetings," she shares. "I only talk about my personal success—'my mother counts on me, my sisters look up to me, I'm a great mother, someone MARRIED me, my friends trust me.'"

Through deep personal healing, she has realized that professional milestones are secondary to a well-lived life.

"Anyone can be professionally successful. Not everyone can be happy: happiness is the message. And I am most proud of that," Cathie says. "To those people who see my professional success and think 'how do I get that?!' I would say 'work on being happy and then see what you want. Whatever you want, you can have.'"

From the dark, frozen streets of a Cleveland winter to the bright, open vistas of a sober European vacation, Cathie Rose’s journey is a beautiful testament to what happens when you put the blinders on, do the footwork, and trust the process. She proves that when you commit to the deep, messy work of healing yourself, you don't just survive—you build a life that is vibrant, expansive, and beyond anything we could have imagined for ourselves.

Your world doesn't have to feel small. If fear or logistics have been keeping you from exploring, let’s change that. From sober travel boundaries to fully accessible family excursions, I take the weight out of the planning process so you can just show up and take it all in.

Book with Me!

The best part of exploring the world? Doing it with people who speak your language. Don't wander alone—join us on Facebook or check out our upcoming travel groups to find your ultimate sober travel squad! 🗺️🕊️

• Suitcases & Sobriety: A sober travel collective - A sober travel collective for the sober and sober-curious.

• Friends of Bill W Cruising - 12 step Cruise community

• Friends of Bill W Travel - 12 step travel community

• The Connected Compass - A trauma-informed travel collective for families who need a different kind of map.