Facing Mortality and Rebuiding Trust after Addiction: Mara's journey through sober weight loss and healing

Wander Women Feature #7: Mara (Part 2 — The Horizon)

When you have a history of making mistakes, the hardest thing to reclaim isn't your routine—it’s your equity. How do you move from a place where people are constantly checking up on you, to becoming the person who is trusted to anchor everyone else during life’s heaviest storms?

Welcome back to Part 2 of our Wander Women series. Look, if you missed Part 1 on Wednesday, do yourself a favor and hit pause right here. Go back and read it first. Trust me on this—you can’t fully appreciate the view from the horizon until you look at the exact pavement it took to get there.

When you are stuck in destructive patterns, your world shrinks. Your map gets tiny, your boundaries are rigid, and you spend all your energy just playing defense. But gaining your trust back isn’t just a milestone; it is the ultimate passport. Rebuilding your equity is the exact key that expands your map and unlocks the rest of the world. For Mara, that meant stepping into a life completely wide awake, shedding the physical and emotional weight of her past, and turning her survival into a masterclass on how to be present for others—eventually taking her across international borders she never dreamed she would see.

Life After Addiction: Sober Weight Loss and Body Transformation Journey

The transition from the chaos of active addiction to a stable, anchored life doesn't happen overnight. For Mara, rebuilding that equity started with a necessary season of intense structure at the Jean Marie House—an environment that gave her the time and space to breathe when she didn't know how to do it on her own.

"The Jean Marie House gave me the time and space to breathe when I didn't know how to do it on my own. It was where the pavement started to feel solid under my feet."

As Mara’s mind grew clearer, her relationship with her body began to evolve too. Reclaiming her life from addiction sparked a massive, parallel journey of physical health and transformation. Getting sober was one challenge, but learning how to live sober forced her to face the deeper ways she tried to cope. She didn't just shed the emotional baggage of her past—she shed actual weight, completely transforming her physical reality to match the strength she was building on the inside.

"Learning how to care for my body after losing over 100 pounds forced me to confront the fact that my relationship with food wasn't healthy either. It turns out that alcohol wasn't the only thing I used to soothe, numb, escape, or feel okay."

Facing those hidden layers of numbing wasn't a separate chapter; it was deeply intertwined with her recovery. It required a profound level of honesty, forcing her to realize that reclaiming her physical self was about far more than just a number on a scale.

"Losing the weight wasn't just about changing how I looked in the mirror. It was about shedding the physical manifestation of the armor I had built up when I was suffering. Reclaiming my body was an act of deep self-respect."

This complete physical and emotional transformation is what ultimately gave her the stamina, the confidence, and the physical freedom to say "yes" to the world when it finally came calling.

Facing Mortality: What It Means to Serve as a Certified Death Doula

If you look at Mara today, it’s hard to reconcile the vibrant, boundary-breaking woman she is with the dark places she used to crawl into. But she doesn't hide from that past. In fact, she uses it as a superpower in a field most people run away from: hospice work and serving as a Certified Death Doula.

"I think my personal experiences with addiction, grief, and recovery allow me to sit in hard spaces without immediately trying to fix, control, or run from them. Recovery taught me how to tolerate discomfort, uncertainty, fear, and surrender, and those are the exact emotions families experience at the end of life."

"When people are facing death, a lot of what surfaces is fear, guilt, unresolved relationships, anticipatory grief, and loss of control. Those emotions don't scare me because I've lived through my own versions of them. I know what it feels like to have life completely fall apart and still somehow find meaning and healing afterward."

As a Death Doula and legal guardian, Mara walks directly into life’s final transitions. It takes a rare kind of grit to sit with people at the very edge of existence, but Mara does it with a profound sense of harmony. She knows that at the end of the day, presence matters infinitely more than perfection.

"Most people don't need someone to say the perfect thing when they're dying or losing someone they love. They need someone willing to sit beside them honestly, calmly, and without judgment."

"I also think addiction and grief stripped away a lot of superficiality in me. Working in hospice and as a guardian constantly reminds me how fragile life is and how quickly things can change. It makes me softer, more compassionate, and far less interested in appearances or ego."

"At the end of life, people don't care about status, image, or accomplishments. They care about connection, forgiveness, dignity, and love. Recovery helped me understand that long before I ever worked in hospice."

She took the fierce, unvarnished love her family showed her during her darkest hours and now channels it into the families she guides through the sacred process of letting go. Her profound drive to protect others in their most vulnerable moments is deeply rooted in her upbringing, where her identity and her service go hand-in-hand.

"I grew up between Jewish and Catholic traditions, so from an early age I learned how to navigate different beliefs, customs, and ways of seeing the world. While I have deep appreciation for both sides of my family, I am deeply proud of my Jewish identity."

"One of the core Jewish values that has always resonated with me is Tikkun Olam, the idea that we all have a responsibility to help repair the world. I don't believe that responsibility belongs only to politicians, activists, or religious leaders. I think it happens in small, everyday acts of service and compassion."

"That belief absolutely influences the way I advocate for vulnerable seniors and nursing home residents. Many of the people I work with have lost their independence, their health, their spouses, or even their ability to speak for themselves. Some have no family at all. I see it as both a privilege and a responsibility to make sure their dignity is protected and that their voices are heard."

Sober Travel in the Middle East: Smashed Stereotypes and Shared Heritage

To understand how deeply Mara connects with people from all walks of life, you have to look at her roots. Mara grew up with a rich, beautiful interfaith heritage. She learned early on that there are many paths to truth and that human connection transcends the rigid boxes we try to put people in. This global perspective is exactly what led her to a sober cruise through the Middle East, navigating the vibrant, historic waters of the UAE, Qatar, and Bahrain.

"One of the greatest gifts of recovery has been realizing that life didn't get smaller when I got sober, it got bigger. Before recovery, I thought alcohol and drugs made experiences more exciting. In reality, they kept me from being fully present."

"Traveling through Dubai, Abu Dhabi, Qatar, and Bahrain completely sober allowed me to experience everything with genuine awe and curiosity. I noticed the architecture, the culture, the people, and all the small details that make a place unique because I was actually present for them."

"For years, I thought sobriety meant giving things up. Standing in some of the most beautiful places I've ever seen, I realized the opposite was true. Recovery didn't take anything away from me. It gave me the ability to fully experience life."

And being fully awake means seeing the world for exactly what it is.

"When I first arrived in Dubai and saw the moon hanging upside down in the sky, it struck me as the perfect reminder that sometimes the world looks very different when you actually experience it for yourself instead of viewing it through someone else's lens."

Can we talk about the fear-mongering for a second? There is so much unnecessary noise and misconception around solo female travel safety in that part of the world. But Mara? She completely shuts down the drama with a massive dose of real-world wisdom.

"A lot of people had concerns about me traveling to the Middle East, particularly as a Jewish woman. While I wasn't naïve about the realities of the world, I also wasn't interested in making assumptions about millions of people based on headlines. I have enormous respect for other cultures and religions, and I found that same respect throughout my travels."

"At the same time, I wasn't reckless. I didn't wear my Star of David necklace, and I wasn't openly discussing my faith everywhere I went. I think there's a difference between being respectful and being naïve. But what I found was not hostility. What I found was kindness, hospitality, and people who were proud to share their culture with visitors."

"People have all these rigid ideas about being a woman traveling in the Middle East, but the reality is simple: just don't be stupid. It's about respecting the local culture, keeping your wits about you, and moving with confidence. I felt incredibly safe because I wasn't navigating the world through a fog—I was sharp, I was aware, and I was treating the places and people I met with the reverence they deserved."

This deep respect for humanity is a lesson she carries with her everywhere, beautifully reflecting how her own interfaith background aligns with her everyday life and career.

"Growing up between different faith traditions also taught me that people don't have to believe exactly what I believe for me to care about them. Whether I'm working with a Jewish family, a Christian family, a Muslim family, or someone with no religious beliefs at all, my job is the same: to meet them where they are, honor what matters to them, and advocate fiercely on their behalf."

"Interestingly, my life today reflects that same idea. I work for a religious Jewish hospice owner, alongside a Muslim administrator, a Muslim Director of Nursing, and much of our back-office staff is Muslim as well. We love each other. We are cousins. We come from different backgrounds and faiths, but we're all working toward the same goal of caring for people and their families during some of the most difficult moments of their lives."

The absolute pinnacle of the trip? Visiting the Abrahamic Family House in Abu Dhabi. Standing in a space specifically designed to bring Islam, Christianity, and Judaism together in harmonious, architectural beauty was a full-circle moment for Mara.

"Standing in the Abrahamic Family House felt strangely familiar to me. I grew up between Jewish and Catholic traditions, so I've spent much of my life navigating different faiths and learning that people can believe different things while still sharing the same values."

"As a proud Jew, there was something incredibly moving about walking into a synagogue in the Middle East and then stepping outside to see a mosque and a church standing beside it. Not in competition. Not in conflict. Just existing together."

"Walking into the Abrahamic Family House, I felt my own interfaith heritage come alive. And yes, seeing my actual name on that building? Talk about a sign from the universe that I was exactly where I was supposed to be."

I’m sorry y’all, that gives me the goosies! If that’s not a full-body-chills moment, I don’t know what is. Mara looked past the stunning design and saw the deeper message built into the very foundation of the space:

"What struck me most was that the complex doesn't ask people to abandon their faith. It asks them to bring their faith with them while making room for others to do the same."

"In a world that often feels divided, it was a powerful reminder that respect doesn't require agreement and that our shared humanity is often greater than our differences. For me, it wasn't just my favorite part of the trip. It was a glimpse of the kind of world I hope we continue striving toward."

Life in Recovery: The Untold Pieces and Advice for Newcomers

When asked if there was anything we hadn’t covered in the interview, Mara didn't hesitate to point out the parts of her journey she wishes people talked about more.

"People love the dramatic 'before and after' stories, but they miss the quiet, mundane discipline of the middle. They miss the beauty... and the deep joy of being fully present for the people who rely on you every day."

For Mara, the true victory isn't just that she stopped drinking; it's that she became a woman who could be trusted with the lives, legacies, and final moments of others. We couldn’t close out this feature without asking Mara what she would say to the person who is currently sitting where she used to sit—stuck in those destructive patterns, looking up at a mountain that feels impossible to climb.

Her advice is as direct, loving, and unvarnished as she is:

"Stop trying to figure out the next five years. Just look at the next five minutes. Do the next right thing, even if it's just washing a dish or taking a step. You don't have to fix your whole life today. Just don't pick up, let the people who love you hold the line, and trust that the pavement will eventually turn into a path."

But what about the inner hurdles? For those in recovery who feel their world closing in or who are terrified to step out into a larger map, Mara challenges that fear directly.

"I honestly have a hard time relating to the idea that recovery makes life smaller because my experience has been the exact opposite. Recovery gave me a life that is bigger, richer, and more meaningful than anything I could have imagined when I was drinking."

"That said, I absolutely understand fear. Whether it's traveling across the world or simply trying something new, fear has a way of convincing us to stay small and isolated."

"I've learned that when I get stuck in my own head, my own fears, or my own problems, the solution is never to retreat further inward. For me, the answer is always the same: deepen my relationship with my Creator, connect with other people, and step out into the world. That's where growth happens. That's where healing happens. That's where life happens."

"My advice would be simple: don't wait until you're fearless. Go anyway. Some of the most beautiful experiences of my life happened because I was willing to walk through fear instead of letting it make decisions for me."

"The world is far bigger, kinder, and more interesting than we often imagine, and recovery gives us the opportunity to actually experience it."

Standing on the Horizon: Trauma-Informed Parenting and Rebuilding Family Trust

Mara’s story isn't just a recovery story. It’s a masterclass in full-circle expansion.

When we started this two-part feature on Wednesday, we looked at the sheer grit it takes for a family to step back so that someone they love can finally find their footing. Today, we see the breathtaking view of what happens when that trust is completely rebuilt. Mara didn't just crawl out of the wreckage and stop drinking; she put in the quiet, unglamorous work to reclaim her equity, repair her closest relationships, and step into the profound complexities of trauma-informed parenting with a clear mind and an open heart.

"If there's one thing I've learned, it's that recovery isn't the end of the work. It's the beginning of it... Today, I have the life I used to pray for. I have a career I genuinely love that allows me to support myself financially. I have a close relationship with my family. I have a daughter I adore. I have a partner I love dearly. I have meaningful work, wonderful friends, and a life that 39-year-old Mara could never have imagined."

"And yet, despite all of that, I still have days when I feel afraid. Days when I'm convinced something bad is about to happen. Days when I worry I'm going to lose something or lose everything. It's amazing how quickly fear can make us forget our blessings."

"What recovery has taught me is that healing isn't a destination. It's a lifelong process of becoming more honest with yourself. At 49 years old, I'm still learning, still healing, and still discovering that gratitude and fear often coexist. The goal isn't to become fearless. The goal is to keep moving forward anyway."

But if you are the newcomer sitting exactly where Mara used to sit—stuck in destructive patterns, looking up at a mountain that feels impossible to climb—know that the universe has a way of leaving behind exactly what you need to hear to keep moving forward.

For years, Rob used to leave Mara little notes. But it wasn't until long after he passed away that she accidentally uncovered one final, hidden message he had left tucked away with a couple of his guitar picks. It was a quote by Charles H. Spurgeon, and it reads like a direct blueprint for anyone trying to find their footing in the dark:

You don't have to figure out the next five years, and you don't have to climb the whole mountain today. You just have to trust the love that built the stairs, take the next step, and look out the window that hope is holding open for you.

Ready to drop the weight, trust the climb, and expand your own map? Let’s design your next alcohol-free, solo, or family adventure wide awake.

Book with Me!

Join the Village!

The journey to an untethered life is never meant to be walked—or traveled—alone. Whether you are navigating sobriety, solo parenting, or the beautiful chaos of foster/adoptive life, there is a seat at our table. Come join the conversation and see how we’re eating the elephant, one month at a time.

• Wandering Weightlessly on Facebook: Our primary community for parents and

• Suitcases & Sobriety: A sober travel collective - A sober travel collective for the sober and sober-curious.

• Friends of Bill W Cruising - 12 step Cruise community

• Friends of Bill W Travel - 12 step travel community

• The Connected Compass - A trauma-informed travel collective for families who need a different kind of map.