I Don’t Want a Husband, I Want a Handyman – A Single Mom’s Guide to Father's Day

There is a unique kind of quiet that hits the house on Father’s Day when you are a Single Mom by Choice.

The store aisles have been packed with barbecue grills, "Best Dad" mugs, and greeting cards for weeks. And for those of us who made the brave, intentional choice to build our families on our own terms, the cultural noise around this weekend can sometimes make you sit back and pause.

Managing the Solo Parenting Overwhelm

If I’m being completely honest, there are moments on this journey when the overwhelm creeps in, and I start to question my choice. I’ll find myself momentarily craving a partner, wondering if life would just be... easier.

You know those moments. The moments when you’re the one doing the heavy mental and physical lifting 24/7. You’re the one making dozens of tiny pancakes to stack on a miniature table, or freezing a superhero action figure into a literal block of ice in the middle of the friggin' night hours before you have to get up for work just to keep the holiday magic alive.

But over the years, I’ve learned to hit the pause button during those waves of doubt. And when I look a little closer at what I’m actually feeling, a liberating truth smacks me in the face:

I don’t want a husband. I want a handyman. Or a landscaper. Or a plumber, a painter, and an electrician. 🕵️‍♂️🛠️

I don't actually crave a partner until a crack in the tile is staring me in the face, or I'm staring down a flight of stairs trying to figure out the physics of moving a heavy piece of furniture alone. Or—let’s be real—hauling a week's worth of travel luggage through a crowded cruise terminal without an extra set of hands! 🧳🏋️‍♀️

Choosing Experiences Over Perfect Drywall

The reality of running a house and a life completely solo means there is a project that needs to be done in every single room of this house, and a heavy-lifting dynamic that never quite stops. Some days, looking at that unfinished to-do list feels so completely overwhelming it can cause a total system shutdown. (Looking at you, #ADHD)

And here’s an even deeper layer of truth: if I focused less on travel, I could absolutely just pay someone to fix all these "charming fixer-upper features." But that’s not the point, is it?

I have chosen a life of experiences over a life of perfect drywall. I have chosen to put my resources into a weightless, abundant world of memories for my son rather than a pristine house.

🚢 Which, by the way, is exactly why I am so utterly obsessed with cruising as a solo parent. Think about it: a cruise ship is one of the only places on earth where the heavy lifting, the cooking, the logistics, the entertainment and the cleaning are entirely handled for you—and it comes with built-in childcare. It’s the closest a single mom can get to having a full domestic staff, and if a lightbulb burns out in your cabin, a nice man in a crisp uniform magically replaces it within ten minutes while you drink a mocktail by the pool. No trip to Home Depot required. ✨

When that heavy house stress hits, society likes to tell us that a partner is the missing puzzle piece. It’s not. Most of the time, it’s just that home maintenance is exhausting, and doing it all alone is a massive load to carry.

Raising a Teammate, Not a Taker

Society also loves to look at a single-parent household and imply that our kids are somehow missing out on a "complete" family structure, or that doting on an only child will automatically turn them into a spoiled, self-centered taker who expects the world to revolve around them.

But I look at my son, and I know that narrative is a lie—in part, at least in our house, because of a choice I made years ago.

When he was 8 or 9, he made a comment to my mom about a sandwich that stopped me dead in my tracks. It was something to the effect of, "Why should I? My mom will just do it." In that exact moment, a lightbulb went off. I realized that my deep, instinctual desire to dote on my only child was accidentally creating a taker. I saw a flash of the future, and I realized if I didn't change course, I was going to raise someone who grew up expecting a future partner to cater to them, instead of raising an independent, capable human being.

So, I shifted the narrative. I didn’t stop doting on him, but I started teaching him how to be a teammate.

Fast forward to today: as I write this on a Saturday morning, he is in the kitchen making us breakfast. He cuts our grass, walks the dog, takes out the trash, and entirely handles his own laundry. After dinner, he’s the one cleaning up, and often when I'm cooking or starting to show signs of overwhelm, he never fails to look at me and ask, "Is there something I can help with?" This is a beautiful secret of the solo parenting journey when you parent with intention. You aren't forcing a kid to do chores; you are teaching them how to see a need and step up. In no way is Zion a replacement for a partner—he is simply a 14-year-old who is learning how to walk through the world as an active helper, a reliable teammate, and an independent young man. We hold down the fort together, as a team.

Building the Village: Intentionally Sourcing Positive Male Role Models

While Zion and I make an incredible team, raising a well-rounded young man isn't a solo DIY project. I don't want a husband, but I absolutely wanted a village of positive male role models in his corner.

Sourcing that village wasn't an overnight win. Traditional routes like Big Brothers Big Sisters left me completely ghosted, so I had to get creative. Along with the presence of my father and brother, I started intentionally booking male tutors on Outschool. We also totally lucked out and hit the trifecta with the Cleveland Art Museums Comic Club. His teacher is a wicked cool, Black, working artist—which is exactly why we keep going back every single month.

But the real anchors came through dedicated foster care mentorship programs. We connected with The Mayfly Project, an incredible organization that supports youth in foster care through fly fishing to build confidence and healing. (And thank goodness, because my personal outdoor skills max out at lounging on a cruise balcony, not wrestling a trout).

And then, the Cleveland Angels Dare to Dream® program brought Seth into our lives. Six years later, Seth still shows up for Zion. Whether they’re heading to plays, catching sporting events, or just grabbing a bite to eat, that consistent, steady male presence has been a gift. The official program commitment is only for a single year, so having him by Zion's side for six has been an absolute blessing.

Sourcing these mentors took effort, but our life is absolutely full of weightless, soaring support.

Embracing the Double Duty on Father’s Day

You Are the Whole Foundation! So today, if you are looking at your own unfinished project list or feeling that familiar Father’s Day pressure, give yourself a massive permission slip to let it go.

Go ahead and write yourself a "Honey-Do" list—and then proudly hand it to yourself, look yourself in the eye, and say, "I'll get to it next year, honey." 📝💁‍♀️

You are the one driving the highway shifts, managing the budgets, tackling the tech, and relocating the spiders—we don't squash here. But you are also the soft place to land. You are tracking the therapies, soothing the big emotions, and giving your child 100% of your undivided attention.

Our kids don't look around a happy, secure, adventure-filled life and count the missing pieces. They aren't grading us on our home renovations. They just see the mom who shows up, fierce and present, every single day to show them the world.

Shout out to the Solo Captains

To the single mamas, the foster heroes, the adoptive rockstars, and every solo parent pulling double duty this weekend:

Pour an extra-large cup of coffee. Ignore the unfinished baseboards for today. Look at the beautiful, custom-built life you have created out of pure love, and smile knowing you are doing a magnificent job steering your ship.

Happy Sunday, mamas. Forget the cape. Real self-care for a solo parent isn't just about surviving the weekend—it’s about giving yourself a finish line to look forward to. When you put a cruise on the calendar, you are buying a mandatory break from the heavy lifting, the decision fatigue, and the never-ending home projects.

If you are ready to hand the logistics over to a fellow SMBC and give yourself something incredible to look forward to, let’s get it on the books. Let's make some memories that require zero assembly.

👉 Ready to plan your escape? Let's book your next cruise here!

Book with me Now!

💬 Alright, let's be real in the comments: What is the ONE home project currently staring you in the face that makes you wish you had a live-in contractor? Let's laugh about it together below!

Join the Village!

You don’t have to steer the ship entirely alone. Join our community of like-minded moms to swap travel tips, share the chaos, and plan our next weightless escapes together! Whether you are navigating sobriety, solo parenting, or the beautiful chaos of foster/adoptive life, there is a seat at our table. Come join the conversation and see how we’re eating the elephant, one month at a time.

• Wandering Weightlessly on Facebook: Our primary community for parents and

• Suitcases & Sobriety: A sober travel collective - A sober travel collective for the sober and sober-curious.

• Friends of Bill W Cruising - 12 step Cruise community

• Friends of Bill W Travel - 12 step travel community

• The Connected Compass - A trauma-informed travel collective for families who need a different kind of map.