"Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly." The Bottom of the Bottle and the Heartbreak of "Not Yet" My fifteen-year battle with the bottle didn't happen in a vacuum. The final straw—the weight that almost did me in—was a year-and-a-half struggle with infertility. I crawled so deep into that specific pain that I almost didn't survive it. I gave drinking myself to death a real go because I couldn't face a world where I wasn't a mother. I was